When the World Feels Out of Control, Ask Yourself This One Question

This is Part 2 in a series. You can find Part 1 about critical thinking and trusting your own perception here.

Making the journey from staying in distress to activating our agency and capacity

Last week, I wrote about recent cultural events—where what we observed didn't match the official narrative we were told. And I talked about how critical thinking skills become essential when there are significant discrepancies between what we see and what we're told.

But I didn't share how I personally moved from distress to clarity.

When something upsetting happens—when narratives conflict with observable facts, when the world feels chaotic—how do you react?

Disbelief, anxiety, helplessness, and asking "What can I do about this?" are common for many of us.

Over time and with practice, I've conditioned myself to respond differently, in a way that prompts resilience and serves me better. And when I shared it with friends recently, they looked like a light bulb went off inside.

Here's what I ask myself now when something upsetting happens in the world ~ "What skill does this relate to? And how can I strengthen it?"

Why This Simple Shift Is Life Changing

Turning confusion into clarity, one skill at a time.

When you ask "what skill does this relate to?" you shift from absorbing the impact to actively responding to it. You're not denying reality—you're asking yourself who you do you want to become in response to it.

That shift transforms distress into direction. Instead of just experiencing overwhelm, you're channeling it into development.

What This Looks Like

When narratives contradict what we observe: When I asked myself, what skills does this relate to, critical thinking skills immediately came to mind. Yes, we can strengthen our ability to ask powerful questions, to do more research, to evaluate evidence, cross-reference and verify sources, and trust our own perceptions.

When we encounter conflicting information: We can strengthen fact-checking skills, media literacy, and seek out credible sources—this helps navigate initial uncertainty with more confidence.

When we feel anxious about changes we can't control: We can learn how systems are working—who makes decisions and what avenues exist for participation and change—and we can look into options that align with our values and determine what actions we can take. The anxiety might not vanish, but it can coexist with understanding and we can strengthen our ability to hold complexity.

How to Try This

Symbolism: Transforming distress into development—piece by piece.

Start small. Next time something upsetting happens, pause and ask: "What skill does this relate to?"

Be specific. Think "I want to know more about... or "I want to better understand..." or "I want to get better at..."

Take one action. This activates your sense of agency. You can develop more of your critical thinking skills, with our Free Resources.

Notice the shift. Pay attention to how it feels to move from passive distress to active response.

What This Actually Does

This approach doesn't solve systemic problems readily or mean you should never feel upset. What it does is help you maintain clarity and capacity when circumstances feel overwhelming. It helps you stay grounded and focused.

The question we all face is will events shut us down or can we use them as a catalyst to develop further?

For me and for those I've shared this with, asking ourselves "what skill does this relate to?" has been the difference between feeling powerless and feeling capable again.

What skill are you working on? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

Dianne A. Fanti, MS, CPC, is an author, trainer, skill-building specialist, and Certified Professional Coach specializing in helping people overcome limiting beliefs, to realize their full potential.